Saturday, November 14, 2009

Let's slap bet on that

I love Thanksgiving. I love Thanksgiving mainly because I love pumpkin pie (and Thanksgiving is the only holiday where you are guaranteed a pumpkin pie, except if you are a brat and request it on your birthday--which is in May-- out of spite because no one will make you a strawberry dream cake), but also because I love the movie Home for the Holidays. If I could eat pumpkin pie and watch Home for the Holidays every day of the year, I would probably do it and it would never get old.

Aside from those superficial reasons, I do also like the special events that surround this glorious day. One such event is our annual Geeks' Thanksgiving, where all of my close college friends gather around the turkey to enjoy each others' company (and of course, watch Home for the Holidays). Our "family" thanksgiving is happening this Sunday and I have been looking forward to it all week. Thinking of my friends' version of the beloved holiday reminded me of the Thanksgiving episode of How I Met Your Mother entitled,"Slapsgiving."

I love How I Met Your Mother almost as much as I love pumpkin pie. I am not going to go so far as to say How I Met Your Mother is the new Friends, but it is a very funny show. What's great about this program is that the things they do remind me of things that my friends would do.

For those of you who aren't familiar with the show or the Slapsgiving episode, here is the basic recap: Barney and Marshall make a slap bet that is worth 5 slaps. Barney loses. Lily is assigned the role as the Slap Bet Commissioner. Instead of slapping Barney immediately (as is normally the process as soon as a slap bet is over), Marshall opts to slap Barney at random over the course of the next few months/years. By the time the days prior to Thanksgiving roll around, Marshall has already given Barney 2 slaps. He had set up a website with a countdown to the next slap, which is to happen on Thanksgiving day. Barney is freaked out. Lily gets mad her Thanksgiving will be ruined and declares that there will be no slaps on Thanksgiving. But, within the last 10 seconds of the slap countdown, Lily changes her mind about the no slap rule, Marshall slaps Barney, then Marshall sings a song. It's amazing. [I can't wait for slaps 4 and 5; they haven't happened yet].

An excerpt from "Slapsgiving":

Anyway, I had forgotten about this episode until I was watching HIMYM this past week, and Ted and Marshall made a quick slap bet at the bar. Once Ted won, he slapped Marshall. A very minor detail in the entire episode, but it's the continuity in this show that makes it great.

Thus, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I have a proposal to make. Now, starting now, let's resolve all disagreements by Slap Bets.

I might seem like I am kidding, but I am not. Let's take a regular bet, for example. The standard way to deal with a bet is to use money as terms. If I win, you give me $20. If you win, I give you $20. But, money isn't really fair unless both parties involved have the exact same amount of money. $20 to me might be like $1,000 to you based on what you have in your bank account. Percents would be better, but when's the last time you heard a high roller say, "I'll take you for 10% of your net worth"? The answer to that question is never. Never.

A slap bet is the world's equalizer. No one likes to be slapped. Everyone likes to slap. Everyone has the ability to be slapped and to slap.* Think about how much closer we'd be to World Peace, if it was only one slap away.....And I rest my case.

*I know what you are about to say: What about people who are paralyzed, don't have arms, are missing half their face, etc? In those cases, I think we all could agree on a slap proxy. Someone to give or receive slaps on behalf of the affected party as needed.

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