Thursday, November 19, 2009

Itsy bitsy spider

I woke up this morning thinking about spiders.

This was largely due to the fact that I had a run in with one of the creepy little creatures last night in my bedroom. After a failed attempt at expunging it from my life, I suffered through fits of nightmares about spiders crawling up my legs and into my mouth.

If you asked me, I wouldn't say I am scared of spiders. They wouldn't even make my top 10 list of things of which I am scared. But, if a spider happened to appear on my arm in the next 10 seconds, I would likely start shrieking uncontrollably, paralyzed by dormant fear. Spiders aren't a blip on my radar, otherwise.

Last night, as I scooped the spider off the wall with ease and professionalism and flung it into the hallway only later to realize now I had no idea where the spider was but at least it was no longer in close proximity to my face, I realized how silly it was to be afraid of spiders.

My reasoning? I can outrun a spider.

Think about it--- sure, spiders are creepy. Normally, when I see a spider, I freeze. A chill runs down my spine. I contemplate stepping on it while slowly backing myself into a corner as it sneaks closer and closer. The one thing I never think to do is run. And why not? I just did a little research and this is what I found:

The fastest spider in the world (Giant House Spider Tegenaria Duellica) moves at a rate of 1.73 ft/sec. This is about 104 ft/min. If an average human can run a mile in 12 min, that human is going at a rate of 440 ft/min. So, in one minute, the human will get 4 times as far as even the fastest spider.

Although a spider has as many legs as Octo-Mom has infants, that doesn't make it any faster than a 2 legged human. If you take a giant step over the spider and run, it won't catch up with you. In fact, when you get back to the scene of the spider spotting, I guarantee you it will still be there, in its own little spider daydream.

So, if anyone out there is afraid of spiders, problem solved... you can thank me later.

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