Friday, December 18, 2009

Posts I can't seem to finish (The Tech Edition)

We pretty much suck at updating this blog now that NaBloPoMo is over and Tim's computer apparently exploded, or a ghost took it, or whatever happened there of that I can't keep track. I have about 15 blog topics I am working on right now.... none of them are finished. But, if you'd like a little taste of the good stuff, here are the ones I probably will never finish. I kept it thematic, they all have a technology-ish theme going on:

-Since I've gotten my iPhone, I've paid more attention to the ads for the competition... you know, so I can say to myself, "you made the right choice" by selecting to drop Verizon like it's hot and join the ranks of people who have AT&T only because they have the best smart phone out there. I said it. What makes me laugh is how all of the other phones keep name dropping Google. Powered by Google. With Google. I get that Google is awesome and probably the most popular search engine/email service/ etc etc etc, but must we all brag about how Google can be accessed or is somehow powering a phone? How does Google "power" a phone or 3G network anyway? Is T-mobile's myTouch on a 3Google network? (That's a serious question). Here's what I have to say about the Googley-eyed smart phones out there. Google is a floozy. It will hop on any bandwagon because Google likes to be popular. Google doesn't care if you are a Droid, a MyTouch, a Whoosiewhatsit or an iPhone. To find google, you can just type in Okay, so when you click on the internet on the iPhone, Google's main page doesn't show up.... but, wait for it, wait for it, there's an app for that. OR, you can type in Or you can bookmark it. Just like any old computer with the internets. I would give more credit to the other guys out there if they said "with Yahoo" or "Decisions provided by Bing!" because then at least they are offering something different and unusual even if it is something subpar to Google. Let's be honest, Droid, Googs is just using you, like he's using everyone else. Bragging about having Google on your phone that connects to the world wide web is like patting yourself on the back because the 7th grade prospective class president wants to be your friend. Yes, you, four-eyes McGeek with the bad habit of wearing oversized sweatshirts that have tigers screenprinted on them and who hasn't discovered Proactiv. Do you really think Mr. Popular wants to be your friend? He just wants you to vote during 5th period elections and then he won't remember your name until he has to copy your test answers in History class.

-I have a lot of great ideas. No really, I do. Once my friend Heidi agreed with me on that and she said she'd keep a list for me. Where's that list, Heidi? Thanks for nothing. Anyway, my point is, I could be sitting at dinner with my parents and come up with a great idea for a site that connected people with things that they want and all the people who have those things. I'd call it "Wishlist." The next day, I am eating lunch with one of my friends who is a bitter bridesmaid, and that's when I come up with my idea for a gift registry for single people called "Pity Party". Later, I am driving to Boston with my dad, wishing there was an App for people who forget their EZPass or Fastlanes, and wishing even more I could be the person to develop it and sell it. Or, I am drinking (a lot) with friends and decide to make an alternative to facebook called "Earbook"... So you can "hear" what's up. Get it? Get it? HA HA HA HA HA HA . So, basically, I just think I am on the wrong career path. I wish I had "done something with computers" like a grandmother might say. I could be rich. I could be famous. I could be everything I wanted to be. Instead I'll just go travel somewhere....Sigh.

-I never used to be a big cell phone person. I got my first one when I studied abroad in Italy and then when I got home I got my permanent one (senior year of college, I suppose I was a late bloomer, as per usual). Up until a few weeks ago, when the iPhone joined my family of one, I was known to keep my phone on silent even after getting home from work, forgetting it at home, leaving it upstairs (out of sight, out of mind) while hanging out downstairs, etc. I just never thought about it. My theory, there is voicemail for a reason. Leave a message and I will check it in 3 weeks when my mailbox gets full. Your better bet would be just to hang up. Curiosity would get the best of me (7 hours later when I notice the missed call) and I'd get back to you with a "I saw you called....?" I was no stranger to voicemail tag and I sometimes looked forward to it; in fact, on more than one occassion I didn't want voice on voice action. I have nightmares about calling people and having them answer and me hanging up on them in horror. Point of this ramble: Now that I have a better phone that deserves more than a life on a dusty end table in between the bed and the bookcase, I wonder if I will become one of those people who is obsessed with their phones? These people really irk me and I think I should write a book about proper phone etiquette in the age of cell phones. I'm not the only one that has noticed all of these newfangled contraptions are ruining the way we socialize. On another note, could you imagine if the Fax machine really caught on in the way cell phones did? Could you imagine faxing your friends at 2am: "Just made out with my boss at the holiday party. LOL." What if there were mini-wireless-portable fax machines. HA HA HA. Whenever I think about fax machines I think about Back to the Future 2 when there are the fax machines in everyroom spitting out "YOU'RE FIRED." Okay, now I don't even remember the point of this mini post. End scene.

-Whoever came up with the idea of Online Dating I'd like to smack. If it wasn't bad enough that my generation was already socially inept in terms of dating, some whiz kid had to go and add internet into the mix, making things even more complicated. It probably started with the idea of a chat room (remember those virtual rooms you could stumble into at the age of 13, pretending to be 25, and then your neighbor ends up on Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" special) and then when on AOL there was no such thing as privacy so you could search everyone and anyone who had set up a profile with their screenname and chat them up until 2am at sleepovers. Somehow, all of this evolved into people setting up websites like Match and eHarmony, to "make things easier" for those of us who couldn't seem to snag a significant other the normal way. Well, you know what I'd like to say.... I bet things would be easier if these alternatives didn't exist. I'm not against Facebook or Match or anything, but what if we couldn't Google our high school boyfriend to find out what time he ran in the Manchester Road Race, or log into a website that supposedly evaluates you on 30 plus different levels in order to find your soulmate? Since when did we become so passive and scared? I feel like the best love stories are the ones where the protagonist seizes the day and jumps into love... it usually isn't a tale of someone going online to scope out this new person he/she met in a bar the night before via Facebook. (Well, aside from You've Got Mail, but that had Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan so it worked). Before I get all bitter betty on dating and the internet and bla di bla bla, I'm going to stop ranting. And yes, I know internet dating works for many many people. I say, power to you, for figuring out how to make the system work and for taking chances. In the end, love is love, no matter how you slice it.

*Sorry about any spelling mistakes. I am too lazy to re-read this with a fine tooth comb, and my spell check is apparently busted. Did I just prove one of my points by even saying that? Totally unintentional. I'm a jerk.

1 comment:

C said...

DON'T forget, you've got mail was a remake...The original came out well before computers, or even fax machines...or automatic transmissions.