Screech

People, particularly en masse, are stupid. At a bar last night, there was a vote on what to listen to, while on the TVs the Red Sox and the Celtics were on. The choices were: music, the Red Sox, or the Celtics. My vote, because I am not at all interested in the Celtics, and would like to be able to watch the Red Sox, but also listen to music, was music. Besides it being a more pleasant sound, you can't SEE music. To be fair to everyone, since two out of three choices possess the ability to be seen AND heard, music should have been the defaulted decision.

The vote was conducted by who could be the loudest. Music was first. I said, "Ooo ooooo!" and a few other people cheered. Red Sox were second. Not very many votes there. Celtics were last. Here's the thing: if you leave a choice for last in a noise-conducted poll, you are already giving it unfair advantage. Everyone knows how loud the first groups were, and therefor exactly how loud they need to be. They could even be fairly quiet, as long as the decibel level is greater than the groups before. Because of this, we will never really know if people liked Screech and Lisa's dance the best on "Saved by the Bell." Applause-o-meter? I think not.

Speaking of screech, the Celtics won the applause-o-meter vote in this case. The Celtics? Basketball? Really? THAT'S what you want to listen to? Music doesn't hurt anything-you can still SEE what's going on. Do you really need some old dudes to tell you what already happened, or read the stats to you off the screen? Most of the time, they're just gossiping or talking about inside jokes that only the two of them get. My second vote would be for baseball. You get the spring night-time sounds, the crowd, the crack of the bat, the umpire calling the pitches.

But, no, we're gonna listen to basketball. Screech-screech-dribble dribble-airhorn-whistle-screech screech-buzzer-screech, 7-foot dudes falling on the floor. The only good noise in basketball is a swish and I don't think you can even hear that on TV.

Big mistake.