Back to the Future

This past season I have been completely addicted to Dancing with the Stars. I wish I knew I would be so hooked, in which case I would have done weekly recaps here in this blog so you would know what was going on, too. Unfortunately for you, I missed that boat.

As the season draws to a close, to quote Donny Osmond, it is bittersweet. For the stars, they are sad to see their journey through the world of dance come to a end. For me, I am sad that Joanna and Derek didn't make it to the finals.

Last night, the stars did their final dances. One was a typical ballroom or Latin routine, the other was a medley where they all did the same choreography of three dances side by side, and the last was the most anticipated dance of the entire season: the freestyle. In past seasons, it is during the freestyle where people either flop or shine. This is usually the dance that separates the winners from the losers. In last night's case, none of them really stood out to me.

Over the course of the season Kelly Osbourne may have become a lady, but that didn't prevent her from falling all over the floor in her final dance. As Bruno put it (too nicely), she definitely captured the disco era with her freestyle decked out in silver sparkles. And yes, he was there so he knows. And yes, even back then people sometimes fell on the floor! I thought this was a professional dance competition? I thought falling was bad? I've noticed throughout the season that the judges seem to be sparing Kelly's feelings quite a bit, leaving the blunt criticism for other contestants. I do think she is slightly more sensitive than the rest and we probably don't want to see her cry every episode, but I think someone should have told her how disappointed we were to see her FALL ON THE FLOOR in the final episode during the final dance.

Then Mya came out and did a little ditty from Hairspray. We see in the video montage of their practice from the week before that Mya didn't want to do Hairspray. She wanted to move away from Broadway, throw in a little Vegas, and really do something risky and edgy. Dimitry, bless his heart, is really pushing for the Hairspray routine. Mya finally agrees. The end result includes an overwhelmingly colorful costume and a super saccharine performance. I specifically used the word saccharine because it was definitely fake sugar. The problem I have always had with Mya is that she is such a professional, I just always feel like she is acting. When she says that she had "so much fun with that dance," I can't help but think she has "fun" in the same way it is "fun" to get a cavity filled. She may be smiling, but I don't believe it.

Then out comes Donny with his "show stopping" performance. Yeah, I think it was the best freestyle this season (he didn't fall and it wasn't a snoozefest), but it was only show stopping because he literally stopped the show. And that's just because he went last. I have to say, I really like Donny. I think he is in a good place to win it because he is only 2 points behind Mya and is definitely the crowd favorite.

Who will win? To be honest, I don't know or really care. I wanted Joanna to win and she was eliminated last week. This was a real shame, because I am more than confident that Derek would have knocked our socks off with his choreography of the freestyle dance in the same way he did during their Paso Doble of the future. Instead, the last episode of Dancing just didn't meet my expectations. I'm so bummed out, I prefer to live in the previous episodes. The winners of this competition (in my head) are Joanna and Derek. I will give second place to Aaron Carter only because one of his routines was to the Muppet Show theme. Their "winning" dances are posted below.

First place in my book, Joanna and Derek's Paso:


Second place, Aaron Carter's Quick Step: