Beard-off

It all started on Facebook, this discussion of beards. Chris is a coworker of mine.


“Chris is growing a beard out of laziness.” C-Facebook

“That's the only reason I ever grow a beard. I shave it when someone asks ‘Oh, are you trying to grow a beard?’ when I thought it was at beard status.”-T, facebook

“The scruff has been receiving positive feedback. I don't think I'd look good with a beard and I start to plateau at a certain point, but what the fuck. Razors are expennnnnsive.”-Chris, Facebook

At a party, a friend of mine complimented me on the facial hair, and several people concurred...

“I love the facial hair! You should keep it that way. Don’t actually grow a beard, just always have five o’clock shadow.”-D
“That would require me buying some kind of special beard razor. Plus, I would always have to explain why I always have 5 o’clock shadow. I hate explaining things, remember that’s why I didn’t continue wearing fake glasses?”-T

A coworker agreed, and fueled the fire...

“I like your beard, meng! Are you copying Chris?”
“No, I always grow a beard in a cycle. I go a week without shaving, then I clean it up, then I have a beard, then it gets itchy, and I shave it and start over.”
“I think you should both grow beards…and be twins!”

Chris and I met, beard-face to beard-face and discussed our laziness-inspired facial hair.

“Are you growing a beard too?”-C
“I guess, I’ll probably shave it soon. Gina thought I was copying you. I told her I always do this in a cycle. Apparently, you and I are on the same cycle. That happens when ladies hang out a lot like we do.”-T

The official challenge was extended at the end of the work week, on an interoffice call...

“Are you a gambling man?”-C
“No. What? No.”-T
“Aww…so you won’t put money on who can grow a beard longer without shaving?"-C
“Oh, yeah, no, I’ll do that.”-T
“Yes! It’s a beard off!”-C

A few seconds after the challenge phone call ended, my phone rang again...

“Meng! I’m so excited about the beard-off! I think you’re going to win because you’re stubborn!”
“Is anyone betting on Chris?”
“No!”
(BTdubs, they call me "Meng" at work. It's a thing.)

I hung up the phone and shared the news with my office. Things get a little boring around the office, so sometimes you have to make your own fun. Plus, everyone seems to dig a guy with a beard.

“Chris and I are having a beard-off!”-Tim
“Yes!”-A

“It’s a motherf*cking beard-off.”-S